"this is what i’m wearing to my presentation today."
i was webcamming with my mother who, between her lunch break and organizing my sister’s formal, felt it necessary to approve my attire choices. the presentations were always a knots-in-my-stomach situation, and her need to assess what i was wearing didn’t seem to help my nerves. surprisingly.
"you’ve lost too much weight, Vk." i cringe inwardly, because it was the last thing i wanted to hear.
i absent-mindedly pull at my arms. “it’s the heat here,” i try to explain, again. “and the food is so light that it’s honestly difficult not to.”
she presses. “maybe you should take a break from this. go on a holiday or something. you really don’t look well.” her concerned tone made my heart ache.
i look away.”i’m fine, mum,” i insist. i can tell from her grainy expression that she didn’t buy a word i was saying.
"i’m worried about you. you’re so pale and thin now, and every time i see the photos you post up you look tired and worn out."
"things will get better soon," i tell her. "for the first time in my life i’m doing what i have always wanted to do. and i am happy. even if it doesn’t seem like it now." i bite down on the side of my lips as she looks at me sadly. it feels as though my chest would explode.
exasperated, and desperate not to have my health scrutinized any longer, i try to end the call. “i have to go, mum. i’ll call you tonight okay? i love you.”
"please take care of yourself when i’m not able to."
i log off my account before she has a chance to make another suggestion. her concern made it hard to keep up the grueling work, because every day i spend amongst board members and potential investors, i hate my work a little more.
food didn’t taste as good and a decent sleep was few and far in between. if it wasn’t for my mentor and Lee, i would be in a lot more trouble than i was now.
i was finally pursuing something i was passionate about. i just didn’t know how much i was prepared to give up for it.